If you follow a few of the blogs I do, by now you've seen a post circulating about the "How to Fall in Love" article from last month—which all loops back to Hallie of Corals + Cognacs. She put a unique spin on the questions last month, and it's easy to see why so many have been quick to pick up on doing their own—Hallie is a force in her own right, with a great sense of humor, a unique voice, a killer closet and more life-and-career experience than some women twice her age. Her funny, open posts always inspire me to put a little more thought into my writing, and I thought I'd take a page out of her & fellow bloggers' books and answer a selection of the questions here. While I share a lot of superficial information here (brands I like, design aesthetics, shallow bits and pieces of what's going on in my life), I don't often share much about who I am—it's something that takes me a while to do even with some of my closer friends. But, since we're going on three years into this thing, it's time we take it to the next level, don't you think?
If you're not familiar with the questions, the premise is this: researchers wanted to see if there was a formula, if you will, for two people to fall in love, so they developed a set of questions that gradually increase in seriousness and intimacy, bringing the respondents closer together, culminating in four minutes of silence were you stare into the other person's eyes. I personally think the results are influenced by a lot of factors that go into it beforehand, such as the respondents' upbringings, history and backgrounds, but if their answers are similar enough it helps them develop a closeness and create feelings of emotional intimacy. Two of the participants even went on to get married!
Anyway, let's get into it, shall we?
Would you like to be famous? In what way?
Not in the way that celebrities are today, no. Their every moment is scrutinized and in ways that tend to be beyond frivolous. I do, however, have passions and things that I hope to work towards as I continue to grow older, and it wouldn’t hurt to get recognition for them—if and when—I achieve some of my goals!
Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?
It depends on the scenario; I talk to my mom about five times a week and never plan what I’m going to say, unless I know I need to ask her about something and I’m trying to make sure I don’t forget. I do business development and informational calls for work, though, so those tend to be a bit more planned—usually in the key points I need to hit or the questions I need to make sure get answered, which I jot down in a notebook before the call.
What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?
Keeping this as realistic as could happen in my life right now; no crazy fantasies! I’m a morning person and summer girl, through and through, so let’s start with those—it’s a warm, sunny summer day in the mid-80’s, lightly humid with an occasional cool breeze. I’d get up around 7, make coffee, put on some jazz (probably The Dave Brubeck Quartet) and read a book, barefoot on my back porch (yes, my apartment has one!) for an hour so til I’m ready for a break, then do some light yoga and stretches in my apartment or head to the pool in the park to swim. Take my time getting ready, then head to a favorite brunch spot with a few close friends, obviously stopping by the puppy store nearby to get my dog fix. Wander around downtown NYC or Brooklyn somewhere before finding a sunny strip of grass in a park to spread out and read books, maybe sneak sips of wine and munch on snacks. At night, we’d grab dinner, then bounce around some of our favorite bars in the East Village, having loud and funny conversations and drinking too much gin, maybe even staying out til the sun rises. So, yeah, I miss summer.
When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
I have a terrible singing voice, so I can’t even recall the right answer to this. I hum or lightly sing to myself sometimes when I’m walking around NYC, particularly if I’m in a good mood or enjoying the song that’s playing. More often than not, I’m humming a jazz melody. I haven’t sang to anyone else in years, although I did rap 99 Problems in front of some friends at a karaoke bar last winter.
If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?
Really, though, I want to know—does anyone say body? To be honest I think these are both things that can be worked on continuously throughout your life, and since I’m nearing 30 and still haven’t learned or understood half the things I want to yet, the prospect of limiting myself there would be a bit scary. I’d like to continue to grow and change as I age, so long as I’m able to feel young and stay nimble both in my mind and body, I don’t think I’d pick either.
For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
Having (what I think is) a good head on my shoulders and a strong, supportive mother.
If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?
To be a better listener. My mind aways feels like it’s going a thousand miles a minute and I’m usually thinking three new thoughts before I’ve finished my previous one, so when I’m the one talking I tend to hit about five subjects in a matter of minutes, particularly if it’s an informal setting or I’ve had a glass or two of wine. When it’s not my turn to talk, I get wrapped up in all the thoughts chasing each other around my brain and can get hooked on what I want to say next, instead of listening and taking in what the other person has to say.
Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?
Honestly, I don’t think so, at least not a true, pulsing-down-to-my-bones kind of dream. I’ve never been a big planner, I kind of jump to the next thing when I feel I’m ready for it. I would like to write more, though...when I was really little, I used to tell everyone I wanted to be an author, and now I feel I’m at an age where I could write somewhat cohesively and not hate it weeks or even days later.
What do you value most in a friendship?
What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
Human rights and the way we treat other people. I’ll be first to admit I make jokes out of numerous situations (I love a good "that’s what she said" joke); I’m frequently borderline inappropriate or offensive, but jokes about race, homophobia and sexism that are, at their core, mean-spirited and ignorant, are never cool. Case in point: this was trending on Twitter this past week, but if you search for tweets about it, most are teenage boys and young men who think it’s laughable there’s a day dedicated to raising awareness for women who are irreversibly harmed against their will.
Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?
My dog doesn't live with me right now, but she would certainly be my first priority, despite it saying she's been saved. In terms of material possessions, this is kind of difficult, because they all seem unnecessary in the face total loss. I'm torn between my computer + cameras (which are usually stored in the same place) and my book collection—the former would certainly be easier to carry.
Alright, now it's your turn. If you haven't yet, go ahead and answer some of the questions and share them on your blog if you have one! Even if you don't, I encourage you to answer them anyway. There were several that I knew I wouldn't post here as they were a little too personal, but I still typed out an answer because I was curious to see what my fully formed response would be if I had to think about it. If you want to see the full list of questions, you can check them out here; and if you're over it, you should check out New York Magazine's hilarious response, a.k.a. 36 questions to fall OUT of love.